3 Reason Why I am Celebrating Mother's Day

Sunday, May 8, 2016
White chocolate strawberries. Last mother's day my mom made white chocolate strawberries just for me and I never even had one because, as usual, everyone else had already devoured them before  I could get there. I had a newborn and I was late to everything. It was a pretty normal day. I didn't think it would ever be a very significant moment for me but here we are. I'm typing and you're reading about one of the most simple days of my life. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that my first Mother's Day would be my mother's last.
Today it would effortless to sit on my couch and morn. Today it would be more than simple to eat my weight in Blue Bell Ice Cream and ruin my low carb diet. Today it would be so easy for you to feel sorry for me but I urge you not to. I've read a lot of articles about "motherless daughters" but you must understand, I am not without a mother. I am not without several mothers.
It is difficult, at times, for people to understand me. I am no better than any single person but perhaps I am different. I know some people can't help but drown in an ocean of grief but that life is not for me. I have chosen and I choose every single day to live, to marinate, in the strength of my God. If you're intrigued, keep reading. Here are 3 reasons why I choose to joyfully celebrate Mother's Day even after my Mother's passing.

I CELEBRATE LINDA
My mom was the bravest, kindest soul to ever walk this planet. She would give everything she had anytime, anywhere to anyone that needed it. She spent a lot of time as a single mom of 3 little girls and she never gave up. She never complained. She never considered us a burden. She was always there being our biggest fan, believing in us, cheering for us all even when we didn't deserve it.
She did a lot things and she changed more lives than she ever knew. She was incredible and she was humble. She was blessed and she was a blessing. There was not an empty chair at the funeral. People were lined standing in the back of a large church. If that doesn't tell you something about Linda then nothing will.
My mom was so true to her heart and her heart belonged only to God. I have yet to share much information about what happened but when we spoke to the man that towed the car a few days after the accident he looked us straight in the eyes and he said "You know, I see a lot of accidents. I do this a lot. I see a lot of bad things happen. You can always smell and feel fear and death. It's nothing that I can explain. It's just there. It's in the air. You just know. When I pulled up to the scene of this accident it's like I was slapped with peace. It was so peaceful. It was so different. She must've been a REAL Christian lady."
That is what I celebrate. A woman so incredibly in love with her God that she was saving people even after she was gone. The daughter that prayed for hours for her parents. The mom that saw me through my first dance class, my first date, and even my first child birth. The grandma that left her full buggy in Walmart for a baby with a very slight and even questionably existent fever. The friend that helped her daughters fork so many of your yards. The lady that I aspire to be. Today and everyday I celebrate Linda.

A MOTHERS LOVE NEVER DIES
I am not without a piece of my mother. Her love for her daughters will forever be unmatched. She loved me then and she still loves me now. It's so hard to explain and probably impossible to understand unless you, yourself, have lost your mother.
There is not an empty place in my heart. People say that so often but it is not true. That place that they're referring to, it will always be filled with my mothers love.
I miss her so much. I wish I could pick up the phone and call her. I wish she could hear me and I wish I could hear her. I would talk for days. I would never stop talking. I would never sleep but I can't and she can't. That aspect is so much harder than anyone else could ever know but even though she's not here, her love is. It is so real and so unending. I can feel it. I never stop feeling it. I truly believe that she will love me until the end of eternity.

SHE DID NOT LEAVE ME ALONE
My mom did not leave this earth and set me up to be alone. She left me with so much and so many people. She left me with a serious and in depth knowledge of God. She left me with a Mother-In-Law that she knew would take care of me. She left me with a grandmother to share stories and photos and watch Baby B while I am at work. She left me with sisters to know me just as well as she did, to love me just as much as she did and to hold my hand every time that she would but now can't. She left me with friends, with an unending amount of strong beautiful women friends. She left me with my best friend, a person that I can say the worst and most shallow things to and yet her opinion never changes. She left me with my best friends mom, a sincere woman with a real love for me and my sweet baby boy. They say "it takes a village" and believe me, my mom left me with one.

Is Mother's Day bitter sweet? Yes. Am I going to mislead you to think that it isn't a little hard for me? No. It is hard. It sucks, to be frank, but I am choosing to be strong. I am choosing to be happy. I am choosing to celebrate all of the mothers that she left me with. I am choosing celebrate the mom that she was. I am choosing to celebrate the mom that I am. I am choosing to celebrate the opportunity to be her daughter. I am choosing to celebrate the opportunity of being Brantley's mother. I am choosing to celebrate my Mother-In-Law. I am choosing to celebrate my grandmother. I am choosing to celebrate my fellow mom friends. I am choosing to celebrate all of us because happiness is, in fact, a choice and this is what I am choosing.
Happy Mother's Day to all of you strong, beautiful and incredible women. Make your family/friends take you out to eat so that there are no dishes to clean and find somewhere to hide and take a 4 hour nap. Today is our day! However, wherever, with whoever, let's celebrate ourselves and let's celebrate each other.
As always, thank you for reading! Feel free to comment or contact me with any questions, suggestions or concerns!




1 comment:

  1. My darling girl, this is a beautiful tribute. Thank you for sharing your blog with me. I'm so impressed with you, darling. All my love.

    ReplyDelete

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